Learning to entertain...

I was just thinking about my Mom who does all the gardening/decorating/entertaining of Martha Stewart, but is nicer.
She hosts a number of parties over the course of the year - some summer garden parties, a big holiday party for all their friends, and my favorite, her Chinese New Year party, which includes about 12 people - each bringing their favorite read from the past year to discuss.
My Mom, prior 1st grade teacher, next to never swears, but just before one of her parties this happens, and 16 years later it still makes me laugh:

Mom is still in her bathrobe with curlers in hair about 10 minutes before party start time, stirring boulaibaise on the stove and doing about 10 other things. She's giving my sister, A, and I directions, as we're telling her JUST GO GET READY! Mom says: A, can you put our purses in the laundry room? And put these drinks in the freezer?

The laundry room has spare fridge for overflow goodies. Mom runs off to put her clothes on, dashes back through and goes into laundry room to retrieve the desserts.


She finds that A has tossed the purses on top of two pies, crushing them. One of them has some sort of meringue topping, the other is lost to memory. Then she goes into a sort of Stuart Smalley/Martha with tourettes trance in which she mutters, under her breath: "Fuck.....fuck....fuckfuckfuck....I'll fix it, it will be fine, no-one-will-notice." "I'll just whip this around here like THAT." And she was right - no one noticed.